February 2011
2 posts
October 2010
2 posts
robinsodergren: Lessons I Learned When My Laptop... →
robinsodergren: Big media wants more piracy... →
Today, I made a bowl of Dino Mac-n-Cheese and put it on my neighbor’s front steps with a note asking her if she’d like to get together. I rang the doorbell and ran away. I woke up to a plate of Dino chicken nuggets on my back porch with a note saying yes. Soul mates.
While packing in preparation for a move, I found an old box from when we moved last time. Inside it, above everything else, was a $20 bill taped to the top of something, and a note in my handwriting - “Twenty bucks says you forget all about me until you move again.” I just lost a bet to myself from five years ago. MLIA
Today, while walking on campus, I overheard one guy say to another, “Just go with your heart. Don’t listen to what she says. You have to go with your heart.” The other guy responded with, “Okay… well then, I’d have to say Batman is best.” I’m glad this is what is important in today’s society. MLIA
Today, a guy skipped out of my psychology class 5 minutes early. My professor silently watched him leave and then turned to the remaining 399 of us and told us an answer from the next test. He made us swear not to tell the kid. MLIA
Today, I was talking to my new girlfriend. She just got out of a really bad relationship so we decided to tell each other the most important things about each other. When we were done, she looked seriously into my eyes and said “Pirates or ninjas?” I’m going to marry her. MLIA
Today, I just remembered that I had doodled a stickman ninja on the final draft of my essay. When I got it back, I found my teacher had scribbled a pirate stabbing the ninja in the back. I just turned in my next essay. I want to see how she’ll beat my robot. MLIA
Today, I had a banana with my breakfast. On the peel I discovered a sticker which instructed, “Place sticker on forehead. Smile.” I obeyed immediately. MLIA
Today, I was driving when this jerk cut me off. I wanted to honk my horn at him but for some reason I don’t like honking my horn at people. The driver next to me looked me right in the eye then honked at the guy that cut me off and smiled. I’m glad others will do my dirty work for me. MLIA
I am awesome →
I'm a ninja →
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. When he got to my car he said, “I’ve been waiting all day to pull someone over.” I said, “Well I got here as fast as I could.” He laughed for about five minutes, then gave me a ticket. MLIA
Today, I was sitting down in my dorm’s lounge. I looked up to see a man dressed like a dinosaur. He ran through the lounge. A second later another guy dressed like a meteor ran through. I love my dorm. MLIA
Today, I bought a Roomba vacuum cleaner that vacuums while you’re gone, because I wanted to save time. I spent an hour following it around the house, completely entertained. I feel this has been a great purchase. MLIA.
Today, I was brushing my teeth. When I brush my teeth for 2 minutes, a smiley face comes up on my tooth brush. Tonight I brushed my teeth for two and a half minutes, and it winked at me. Tomorrow morning I’m brushing for 4 and I have never been so excited. MLIA
Today, I woke up without sheets on my bed. My roomate said that in the middle of the night I had woken him up, handed my balled up sheets to him, and told him, “It’s the potion of the elves, you know what to do with it.” I desperately wish I could remember my dream. MLIA
Today I realized my initials are “MAC” and my brothers are “PC”. Now every time we introduce ourselves I say, “Hi, I’m a MAC.” And he adds, “And I’m a PC.” MLIA
fmylife:
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a “Waka waka waka waka” noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
Dolphins make air-bubbles! →
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my...
(via papertissue)
September 2009
51 posts
Today, I saw a sign at a picture framing store...
(via papertissue)
“I’d much rather be happy than right, any day.”
– The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (via infinitebutterflies)
